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Cameroon: Kingdom Or Republic? 

CameroonPostline.com — Long Live, King Paul! May you live long! Longer! Longest!
This has been the message, plus motions of support, wishes, congratulations and prayers, shouted from every arena of the ruling CPDM party and civil servants around the “Republic” of Cameroon, before, during and after November 6.
 

Like subjects in kingdoms like Morocco, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Lesotho and many others, we wished that the Head of State lives and outlives the oldest people that ever lived. We even sent him motions of immortality. Yes, he should live forever. He should be like the Almighty God.
So, welcome to the Kingdom of the Cameroons. Come see us at our jumping joyous best, celebrating our King who has reigned for three decades plus one, and still counting.
 

Come quickly, else you miss the merrymaking, dining and wining, with birthday Champaign popping left, right and centre, to fete the King. Come to anywhere you hear noise of fanfare as we are singing and shouting, dancing and displaying for the cameras, making sure that somebody who knows someone who knows another that works for the King, can notice us, so that, tomorrow, we may be appointed and, then, we can send more motions of support and immortality.
 

We engage deceit, falsehood, corruption, blackmail, witch-hunting, elimination and even cold-blooded murder, only to outwit our real or presumed rivals to the position we deadly want and to serve our unbridled ambitions. Meanwhile, when our King got to power, he preached rigour and moral rectitude as the spirit that will be the soul of his rule which he termed New Deal.

But no sooner than he took over, he hired jesters and sycophants, wheeling and dealing with the commonwealth in their individual interest; the very apt opposite of rigour and moral rectitude. The new dealers have dealt with Cameroonians, are dealing with Cameroonians and will continue to deal with Cameroonians, until the King finally goes to meet his maker alive. Yes, because he is King, we must sing year-in and year-out, in so far as, we earn his favours – until after he ends his life on earth and rises to Heaven body and soul. This is a Kingdom and not a Republic.
 

The King of the Cameroons is not a common mortal like other Heads of State. Do the French fete the day of Hollande’s accession to the Presidency of France? Do Nigerians celebrate the day Jonathan, with all his good luck, became President? Imagine the Americans celebrating the anniversary of Obama’s becoming the President of the United States of America? Or the British commemorating the day David Cameron became Premier? Only the Queen of England, like other royalties around the world and in our Fondoms, fete the day they acceded to power.
 

The fun is that some of our supposed intellectuals, most of them public or civil servants, are the hired jesters in this merry-go-round of feting the President of the Republic as if he were a King. Our supposed intellectuals are, therefore, not able to draw the line between party and State. That brings me to the thought that the ruling CPDM should create another wing of the party, after the WCPDM and the YCPDM. It should be called the CS-CPDM; that is, the civil servants wing of the CPDM. If not, why do civil servants feel compelled to belong to the CPDM?
 

There is the case of this PhD who returned to the country after the Golden Fleece out there in Europe and, your choice newspaper gave him the landing. He would chastise and admonish the Government for doing things the other way round. He even ran a column in the paper stating how things ought to go (clippings of which we still have). At the time, Biya had not even admitted that his new dealers were dealing with Cameroonians and their collective purse. Then, our columnist, independently, applied to a State institution and was recruited. He continued chastising the regime.
 

A couple of years after, he was promoted, as of right. Nothing had changed with the system he so severely criticised, other than with him as an individual. But as soon as he was promoted (repeat as of right), he dashed to the political market, bought the CPDM idea and wrapper, with a huge effigy of the Royal President, and stitched it to out-size him so that he can be outstanding in the crowd of “Oye ye ye ye!” singers. The picture he cut in the outfit was that of Chief Zebrudaiah’s monkey in a jumper.
 

There is also the case of this very brilliant lady who graduated from secondary teacher training college. She taught brilliantly for many years and acquired more knowledge until she was appointed Principal, as of right. She then zoomed to the party secretariat and bought the CPDM cloth and sewed a very big kabbah which she now displays in like a peacock.
 

These and many other so-called intellectuals are the people who come out and expose their bottoms on behalf of the regime, despite the fact that it is eating up the very fabric of the nation and their own kith and kin. In so-far-as they have their positions, every other person can go to hell. Yet, they want to be continuously referred to as intellectuals. 
 

Nevertheless, some of these pseudo-intellectuals are in the private sector. These ones sing and dance for the King because a relation is in an appointed position. Others, yet, sing and dance for the regime in the hope that they might be recruited into the public service, someday.
Are We Together?
 

First published in The Post print edition no 01478
 

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