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Collector’s Dairy 

Since women have learnt to shoot within this period without missing, so have men learnt how to fly without perching. In like manner, since women have learnt to take money from men without giving to them what they want, men too have learnt to take it from women and breakup without giving them the money. Girls or women, who have been playing pranks with their boy or man friends, suddenly become very faithful. So, some men decide only to answer calls from January, after the festive period.

This is because, during this festive period, the girl who was not taking your calls starts calling you, at least three times a day, as if it were prescription from a medic: “one morning, one afternoon and one evening, when you are going to bed.”

The moment she does that for three days; asking how you are and creating the impression that she cares, she would be the one to ask you to take her out – a thing you used to propose and she would say she would think and call you back and would never call. If you agree to take her out, after a couple of drinks, she would give the impression that she is high, or she would truly or deliberately get high, making herself vulnerable to any thought of lovemaking, by leaning on you and caressing you.

Some of them are very impatient when you have fallen into their trap. As soon as you are in a compromising situation and ready to swim in her river-between, she would ask you about her Christmas and New Year things. Some will, however, allow you access and play along with you and when you have started enjoying it to the point where you cannot stop, she would ask you. Yet, some would first give it to you the way they have never done before, knowing that having enjoyed the current one, you would ask for an encore, hence, she would accompany you till when both of you have arrived the finish line and are still catching your breath, she would then ask.

This girl I have is in this third group. Emily is in a professional school. Last time, after going for an immersion programme to Limbe, she never returned, or she returned but never came back to sender, to me. The internship was supposed to end after two months. After that, I called and she said she wanted to relax with her aunt in Tiko, because Douala is too hot – whatever that means. I called and called again but she never took my call. The phone would ring until……. I decided to give-up.
One evening I was at our usual watering hole with some other regulars, discussing the socio-political issues in the country. I was consulting my phone when I had the hauch someone was standing over me and I looked up. It was Emily.

“Can I sit down?” she asked and, my surprise was not yet over, but I said yes.
“Where are you from,” I managed to ask and she said she was going home and just decided to stop by and check on me, since she knows that I am usually there.
“I mean, where have you been? I have been calling you but you have not been taking my calls,” I queried.

“My phone got bad and I just let it be,” she replied.
Some of these girls really think men are fools and believe just whatever they are told. How can a phone be bad and is dumped for over five months and its battery is still strong for calls to come through?
I asked her to take a drink but she said it was too late for her to sit for long. I then gave her a ‘thou’ and she said good night. She will call.

Then Emily started calling me morning, afternoon and evening. We were already in December. One afternoon, she called and asked: “How you troweh me so?”
“How can you say that? You and I talk almost three times a day and you say I have abandoned you?” I asked.

“I mean you don’t take me out any longer.” Okay, I said and asked how she was doing and she said she was fine, but hungry and wanted to eat roast fish. I asked her to call me by 8.00pm.
At exactly 8.00pm, Emily called. We met at this popular fish roasting place in town and I asked her to order. She made her choice and we settled down to drinks while the fish was sizzling. The fish was finally served and Emily ate with alacrity. We chatted about everything but nothing. She was three beers up and I was on my fourth when she leant towards me and said her eyes were ‘turning’. She sent her arm round my back and squeezed.

I finished my bottle and we went home. I undressed down to my boxers and lay on the bed. Emily undressed, kicking her jeans trouser away and was only in her underwear. She was a lean but thick and wiry figure. Her buttocks were small and round and her breasts inclined a bit but the tits stood out. That is the kind of picture that sets you on.

As she lay down by me and kissed me, I took one of her nipples with my thumb and fore finger. She shuddered and drew herself closer. I continued fondling both nipples and that seemed to act as a jack lever which gradually got her sitting over me. As I continued fondling, she raised herself and pulled off my boxers and her pant. Slowly, she directed me home and when I was comfortable and she comfortable, she started working. She wound her waist as if it was made out of some pneumatic material. When she was around the corner, she leaned backwards worked up and down and howled and that hit me and we crossed the line together.

We both went to sleep. It was about two hours after that she got up and went to the rest room. That got me awake and as she was coming back, I looked at her and thought of the way we did it and it gave me a hard-on for an encore. I swung my legs to the floor and grabbed her and pinned to the bed. She said no!
“Just one more time, just one more time,” I pleaded.

She dropped it on me: “What am I having for Xmas and New Year.”
In that situation, how many a man would hesitate to name any thing, any amount of it…?
The Collector

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